Larxene Wants Boobs
by MasterofHearts1313
Summary: Inspired by the many jokes about Larxene being flat-chested. I hope this story will be fun. Rated T for immature humor and breast implants. Read for fun, but don't read just so you can flame. Enjoy and Review, please.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, first things first. I realize that people could take this story as perverted or chauvinistic. I just want to make it a point that I do not want to hear any crappy flames about that. If you want to read the story then read it. If you don't want to read the story, then don't read it.

On to the story:

Chapter 1: Larxene rants

Namine was quietly drawing a new picture. It wasn't of Sora, or Castle Oblivion, or much anything. In fact, she was doodling in her private sketchbook that noone but herself got to look in.

The door to Namine's room was slammed open by noone other than Larxene. Namine stuffed her sketchbook in her table drawer and pulled out her regular sketchbook.

Larxene didn't pay attention. "I'm so sick of it!" she roared.

Namine quailed. "Sick of what, Larxene?" She wasn't used to the only other female member of Organization XIII coming into her room.

Larxene looked at Namine. "What could I possibly be sick of that I'd come into your room?" she mused slightly viciously. "Oh, that's right." She looked over at Namine. "You realize that if Kingdom Hearts was a television show, it'd be an anime, right?"

Namine stared at the older woman with a funny expression on her face. "Yes, I suppose so."

Larxene looked down at Namine. "And you're telling me that you haven't been bothered by something?"

"What would I be bothered by?"

Larxene slammed her hands down on the table, causing the legs to almost crack. "Breasts! That's what's wrong!" She patted her own chest. "Honestly, you'd never guess I was an anime girl with this flat chest." She pointed at Namine. "And an anime girl your age should be the healthy size of a D-cup, at least!"

Namine's face turned a bright neon red. She knew Larxene could be blunt, but she personally thought that this was a bit extreme. "Well, I guess I never really thought about it before."

Larxene crossed her arms. "Oh, come on. You must have thought about it at some point." She spun her finger in the air. "I mean, you never pictured yourself as a lovely, curvy woman before? It probably would save Marluxia from being the biggest target for gay jokes this side of the century."

Namine subtly pushed her table drawer in harder. "Well, what brought this up all of a sudden?"

"What do you mean 'all of a sudden'? I've been upset with this for ages."

Namine cowered under the older woman's glare. "Well, I don't leave this room very often, so I don't know too much about those sort of things."

Larxene frowned and glared at Namine. "Uh-huh, sure."

"I guess what I mean is... you never came in here before to talk about it."

"Pfft... Like I'd even try to talk about it with any of the other members. They'd probably be perverts about the whole thing."

This struck something in Namine's memory. "Is this because of that gag gift Axel gave you for Christmas? I thought he made up for that."

Larxene sat down, resting her head in her hand. She took a sidelong glance at the little blond girl. "No, this isn't about Axel."

Namine stared at Larxene, confused.

"You really want to know?" She conjured a knife in her hand and stabbed it into the table. "I went bra shopping today, and once again, I was directed to the preteen section. Why? Because that's where all the A and B-cup bras are. Every time I walk in there, I hope they stock them in the women's section, and I end up having to use the racks that are never even touched by women over the age of sixteen unless they're being followed by some ten-year-old whelp."

Namine was blushing like crazy. She never went to any of the shops in town, so she didn't know what it was like to shop for bras. "Um, so, what are you going to do about it?"

Larxene pulled her knife out of the table and examined it. She stood up. "I don't really know." She walked quietly towards the door. Before she left, she looked back at Namine, her backwards-flying bangs forming into a pair of devil horns. "But I think I have an idea." She left.

Namine sat at her table, Larxene's words snaking all around inside her head.

Marluxia walked in. "I just saw Larxene come out of here," he said. He laughed light-heartedly. "Were you two having a girl-to-girl talk."

Namine just stared up at Marluxia. _You have no idea._

Okay, end of first chapter. Yes, this is going to be an actual story. If you want to know what inspired this, it was looking at fan art. The flat-chested Larxene jokes were one thing. The thing which really inspired this is how most artists, most likely unwittingly, double Larxene's cup size when they draw her. Now, I'm not going to get too mature with this story. It's more like immature humor for most of it. Enjoy, and please review.


	2. Chapter 2

And we're back! We left Larxene scheming. What is she plotting? You'll have to continue reading to find out. Anyways, back to the story:

Chapter 2: No more gags. This is serious!

Larxene walked down the corridors of Castle Oblivion until she had arrived to her own room. She stepped in and closed the door, shutting up all the locks. She was a girl, and she liked her privacy.

Of course, Axel was the only real pervert.

Xemnas was too busy with his plans to take over the universe.

Xigbar was a bit of a pervert, but he acted a lot more like Axel's father, and he lived in the Castle That Never Was, anyways.

Xaldin was too serious to be a peeping Tom, and Larxene would have been creeped out if he did. He acted like her own father in the organization, and he would only walk in on her like an unwitting father.

Vexen was a man of science. He was also "too old for such shenanigans."

Lexaeus was the strong, silent type, and had no personality. Probably wouldn't even bother leaving his room.

Zexion was too obsessed with the shadows and library to try anything. Larxene wasn't even sure if he had any emotions.

Saix was Xemnas's boot-licking, butt-kissing, right-hand man who wouldn't do anything unless Xemnas instructed him with the most specific directions.

Demyx was too much of a kid. He didn't even understand when Axel tricked him into invading her room for a pantie raid.

Luxord was more like a perverted older brother in the sense that he would most likely film her changing clothes and blackmail her with threatening to post it on the internet.

Marluxia was too much of a "gentleman" to even think about such "scandalous affairs." At least, that's what he said. And he probably was Larxene's best friend since she joined the organization.

Roxas was a little kid. He would often get suckered into one of Axel's schemes like Demyx.

Nope. Axel was the only real pervert who would try to intrude on Larxene for any whim he felt. It did make Larxene relax a little, though. It would have scared her if none of the guys she lived with at least tried to sneak a peek, even if Nobodies weren't supposed to have emotions.

Larxene snapped out of her musings. "Speaking of Axel, where's that idiotic gift he gave me."

She pulled out her drawers, slamming each one when she did not find her target in it. She opened her closet and shuffled through all the shelves, emptying all the pockets and checking her shoes.

After about two hours, she stopped. "Now, I know I didn't throw away those blasted things." She turned around until her eyes landed on her bed. She laughed at herself. "Of course." She walked over and reached into her pillowcase. She fished around in it until she felt something brush her hand.

Larxene's eyes shined. "Ah, there we are."

She pulled out several pieces of paper. They were coupons, for breast implants. Larxene didn't even think they were real. They didn't make a percent discount, and plastic surgery didn't seem like the kind of service to give out coupons. Actually, the coupons looked like Axel had modified a few ice cream coupons, seeing how the description on them was, "Buy two cup sizes, get the third free."

Larxene snickered as she looked them over. She remembered when Axel did give them to her.

---

It was Christmas morning, and everyone had been awakened by Roxas and Demyx, who both had the wonderful idea to wake up at three in the morning and eat five boxes of sugary cereal each. You couldn't really blame the kids, but that didn't mean that everyone let them go unpunished.

Well, Roxas and Demys were saved from several nasty demises since it was Christmas. The two blond boys were also the first to dive into the presents. It was practically a rule that every member buy at least one present for each of the other members. Most didn't make a big deal out of it, either giving or receiving. It actually deflated the Christmas spirit for everyone but Demyx and Roxas.

Axel, however, always had to show off when he passed out his presents. He always started with his two friends, getting them excited to the point of suffering from a heart attack (if they had hearts, that is). Xigbar would be next, and it was always the same: twelve bottles of the best rum he could find. Then he kept going on with the other members, Saix probably has every Sailor Moon DVD now because of Axel. Namine and Marluxia seemed to receive distinct presents, likely because he lived with them. Larxene would always be last, and last year he had waited until they were alone.

Axel looked over at Larxene. "So, you want to see what your present is."

He always had to be coy like this, and it always frustrated Larxene. "It better not be a stupid lingerie set or anything like that."

"Larxene, you hurt me." Axel crossed his arms and pouted. "You make it sound like I'm some sort of sick-minded jerk."

"Because you are," Larxene shouted at the redhead.

"Oh, and here I was, thinking how pretty you look."

Larxene looked up at Axel.

"Yep, you sure are pretty. Lovely face, nice hair, a vicious attitude."

Larxene was hanging off every word.

Axel's eyes glinted. "Almost perfect." He paused and sighed. "The only problem is how sharp and harsh you look because of that attitude of yours."

Larxene huffed. "Didn't you just say that you liked my attitude?"

"Hey, don't get me wrong. I just meant that maybe you need a little bit of a softer body to balance out those sharp eyes."

Larxene eyed the pyro. "And what did you have in mind?"_ As if I'm not afraid to ask._

Axel smiled that cool, coy smile. "Oh, nothing much." He held up a small pile of papers. "Just look for yourself."

Larxene reached out and grabbed the papers. She looked at them. "Breast implants!" She glared at Axel.

Axel cleaned out his ear with his little finger. "Wow, I'd be surprised if anyone in the castle didn't hear that outburst." He looked over at number twelve. "Ah, Larxy, don't be like that. I didn't mean it." He held up a box. "It was just a joke." He threw the box at Larxene. "Here, these are supposed to enhance electrical powers." He stood up and walked out. "Later, Larxy."

Larxene huffed. She opened the box to find a pair of lightning bolt-shaped earrings. On closer inspection, she found they were made of topaz and orichalcum. "Well, at least he has some good taste."

---

Larxene had kept the earrings, but she had also found herself holding on to the coupons. She didn't know why, until now.

Larxene counted the coupons: four. She did the math in her head, and smiled at the results. "However, plastic surgery isn't cheap, even if these coupons are real." She looked over at her private munny stash. She'd been saving up for a week at a spa somewhere, but she would be willign to spend it on something like this. "Like the superiors would really say one was more important than the other."

She looked in the large bag. There was a lot of munny, but she wasn't exactly sure how expensive her operation would be. Then a sly idea came to her mind. "Well, this was originally Axel's idea." She walked over and opened her door. "So I'm sure he' be willing to donate some "charity funds."" She stealthily walked down the hall, carrying her munny sack.

Okay, the setup has been enacted. It's on;y going to get crazier from here. Please review. Construcive criticism is accepted.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: I have a mission. (It's time for surgery!)

After Larxene had appropriated a healthy sum from Axel's savings, she stopped. "Huh, now that I think about it, it's not like I could just leave Castle Oblivion." She set down the massive bag and sat on it. "I mean, Marluxia would want me to stay, just in case we received some "vital" mission from Xemnas."

A streak of electricity shot up Larxene's bangs, creating a lightbulb effect. "Of course!" She ran down the hall, holding her bag securely so as not to drop any money.

---

Larxene walked up to Marluxia, carrying her bag delicately. "Hey, Marly, I got a mission from the Superiors."

Marluxia looked up from his roses. His sun hat and gardening apron almost caused Larxene to burst into uncontrollable laughter. "Oh, a mission?" He paused. "Strange, I don't recall being informed that you were assigned a mission, and I am the commanding officer here."

Larxene flinched. _Oh curd! Can he see through me? _"Well, you know. I just mean I received the orders."

Marluxia nodded. "Well, I guess that not everything can wait to be reported properly. Thanks for telling me. I don't know what I would have thought if you just disappeared on us."

Larxene nodded, relieved. "Of course, I wouldn't want to cause anyone any unnecessary worry." She conjured up a knife. "Unless it's a threat of violence, of course."

Marluxia laughed. "Yeah, so how long do you think you'll be."

"Oh, a week or two."

Marluxia raised an eyebrow. "Sounds serious. Do you need someone to assist you?"

Larxene began to sweat. "Um, no, no. Besides, since when have we worked in partners?"

"I suppose you have a good point," said Marluxia. "Just be careful."

Larxene picked up her sack. "You know it." She started to run out.

"Um, Larxene, just one more question."

Larxene turned her head around.

"What's in the sack."

Larxene laughed to cover up her nervousness. "Oh, nothing much. Just some gear for the mission and that sort of thing."

Marluxia nodded. "Well, we'll be seeing you."

Larxene left.

Marluxia smiled and turned back to his gardening.

"Hey, Marluxia, did you borrow some of my cash for gardening equipment, again?" Axel asked as he walked into the garden.

Marluxia turned to look at the redhead. "Not recently, why?"

"Well, for some reason, I'm missing, like, twenty thousand munny." Axel shrugged. "I mean, sure that's a lot, but I've got plenty of stashes around Castle Oblivion. It just bugs me that it disappeared for no reason."

Marluxia laid a finger on his chin. "That is strange." He turned back to his flowers. "Maybe we'll have a seminar or something to see if we can get a confession."

Axel nodded. "Ah, like I said, it's no big deal." He walked out. "See ya."

"Bye."

---

Larxene stepped out of her black and yellow car. She looked at the coupons in her hand and compared the name to the clinic. "Well, this looks like the place."

She reached in the car and pulled out the munny sack. She slammed the doors and activated the electric shock lock.

Larxene walked into the plastic surgery clinic casually. At least, as casually as one can carrying about a hundred and fifty pounds of munny.

Larxene took note that the receptionist was well-endowed.

The receptionist smiled up at Larxene. "Hello, may I help you."

"Yeah, I'd like to schedule an appointment."

The receptionist smiled wider. "How wonderful. And you came at a good time. Business has been slow, so there won't be a very long waiting period."

Laxene smirked. "That's good." She let go of her sack and slammed both her hands on the desk. "Because I want a breast augmentation. Now!"

"Oh, is there any reason for the rush?"

Larxene picked up the sack and opened it. "I've got cash."

The receptionist took one look in the bag, and her finger slammed on the intercom. "Dr. Gazfit, how do you feel about an appointment right now?" She lowered her voice. "The customer's paying cash."

Not even three seconds later, the door to the back rooms burst open. "Well, well. Welcome, my dear," the doctor said, shaking Larxene's hands. "Such a pleasure to see someone in here. Tell me, what brings you to my humble shop?"

Larxene fished into her pocket. She pulled out the coupons. "My friend gave me these, and I was hoping to use them."

Dr. Gazfit took the coupons. "You mean, you want to use all of them? Right now?"

"I'm paying cash," Larxene reminded.

Dr. Gazfit broke into a broad grin. "Well, there's nothing wrong with someone who's feeling a little adventurous. Come back with me."

Larxene followed the doctor into the back section of the clinic. They passed through several rooms until they were near the back. The doctor opened the door to reveal a simple table and a doctor's chair. A couple shelves stood to one side.

Larxene looked around the room. "Seems a little simple for a surgery room, doesn't it?"

Dr. Gazfit turned to look at Larxene. "Surgery?"

"Yeah. For the breast implants."

Dr. Gazfit looked at Larxene funnily. "What are you, some live-action movie freak or something. We are anime characters. We don't operate; we use advanced technology." He walked over to a chalkboard at the side of the room. "You see, we use a special type of device, which we like to call Biological Replication Encouragement Amplification Sound Technology, or B.R.E.A.S.T.." He drew a picture of a large machine. "This device emits a sound frequency which we have found encourages the process of cell multiplication in the soft tissue of the female bosom. This technology allows us to naturally grow your breasts to the desired size. No threats of chemical leaks, no threats of exploding air-filled implants, and no unrealistic water balloon feel. It's all you."

Larxene stared at the drawings a little uncomfortably. "Is this safe?"

"Absolutely," Dr. Gazfit said proudly. "Well, that is, do you have any medical conditions, like epileptic seizures?"

Larxene rubbed her arm nervously. "Well, I do tend to give off electrical discharge if I get too excited."

Dr. Gazfit laughed. "Well, then there's no problem. We'll just need to anesthetize you."

"And that's it?"

"Well, you will need to remove her cloak, shirt, and bra."

"What!?"

"For safety reasons. You are asking us to give you a record-size bustline, after all."

Larxene grumbled. "Well, I guess that's true."

"Don't worry, I'll be gone shortly. The technology is operated through devices outside this room." Dr. Gazfit walked to the door. "A nurse will be in shortly to take care of the anesthesia and other needs." He left.

Larxene sat on the table. Cautiously, she removed her clothes. Like the doctor said, a nurse was in shortly and told her to lie down. Soon after the IV was stuck into her arm, she was out like a light.

---

Larxene woke up, groggily. "Oh, wow. That anesthesia stuff's crazy." She tried to sit up. "Huh? Why can't I move."

A light chuckle came from the other side of the room. "Well, that shouldn't be a big surprise. We did, after all, add an additional forty pounds to your chest, at least."

"What are you talking about-!?!" Larxene stopped as she noticed the two mounds of blue sitting on her chest."

"The nurses took the liberty of dressing you in a patient's gown," said Dr. Gazfit. "I must say, the operation was a complete success, but it doesn't seem that you put much thought into this."

Larxene was at least able to get up by rolling to her side and pushing herself up into a sitting position.

"Yes, I've seen your case before. You get so excited about breast augmentation, but you don't stop to think about the complications." Dr. Gazfit nodded his head sagely. "We'll need to have you go through physical therapy for a couple weeks. At least until you are able to run with your new assets."

A couple of weeks, huh? At least that means I won't be back startlingly early. Larxene smiled at the doctor. "Anything else?"

"Well, you will need to eat more calories than you're used to in order to support your new body mass." He flipped through his papers. "Oh, and I went through your receipt. Even including the charges for your stay and therapy, you seem to have brought quite an excess of munny."

Larxene smiled wryly. "Yeah, I didn't really know how much this would cost."

Dr. Gazfit nodded. "It would seem so." He stood up. "Well, I suppose you must be tired. You have gone through quite a bit of physical exertion. We'll need to attach several nutrition tubes in order to make up for your lost fat."

Larxene just nodded. She wasn't exactly feel sleepy because she had just slept, but her body did feel exhausted. She laid down and closed her eyes. "And this is all going to be done by nurses, right?"

Dr. Gazfit began to sweat when he saw the knives appear in Larxene's hands. "O-of course."

Larxene smirked as she heard the doctor run out of the room.

---

Two weeks passed rather quickly in the eyes of Larxene. It turned out that it didn't take much more muscle build than Dr. Gazfit had given her credit for. The main focus after the first couple days was just balance, especially if she was to ever fight again. "Blasted fighting game girls don't seem to have much difficulty flipping around all over the place."

"True, but their bustlines are natural. They didn't suddenly jump from a B-cup to an N-cup in less than a day," said Dr. Gazfit, looking over his notes. "But it does seem as though you were able to make up for the change in fourteen."

Larxene smiled viciously. "I wouldn't have stayed here any longer anyways."

"Perhaps." Dr. Gazfit looked over his notes one more time. "Well, you're free to go whenever you want."

Larxene, still a little shaky, grabbed the half-empty sack of munny. The hospital had provided her with at least one new, fitting outfit. She walked out the clinic. She unlocked her car, threw the munny in the back, opened her own door, and stopped. She cursed. "Why didn't I think about this before."

Larxene pressed herself against the car over and over, but had trouble fitting. She noticed that she was attracting stares. "What are you all looking at!" she roared, lightning blazing in her eyes.

Everyone else on the street ran away as fast as they could.

After everyone was gone, Larxene nodded and smirked to herself. _That's right. I know exactly why you're staring._

It took another half hour, but after moving the driver seat all the way back and the steering wheel up, Larxene found that her new body could fit, but just barely.

Larxene looked at her watch. "I really should get back to Castle Oblivion." She turned the ignition on and grinned evilly. "But there's no fault in doing a little bra shopping, first. I do need a new wardrobe, anyways."

With that thought in mind, the Savage Nymph sped down the street.

Don't worry, story's no over yet. And as you can see, I'm an understanding guy. I know that big breasts can be somewhat limiting, but they're also the key point to the plot. Just read, enjoy and review, please.

BTW, I have other stories to work on, so it may be a while for the next installment.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Larxene's home! What do you think?

Marluxia and Axel sat on the couch.

"Have you ever thought it stupid how much time we spend just sitting around?" said Axel. "I mean, sure, we have a library and several televisions, but it's not like there's anything exciting."

Marluxia sighed. "True. I do often busy myself with gardening and caring for Namine, but I can't just water roses all day, and Namine is a fifteen-year-old girl."

Axel sat up. "I think we need to get a video game system. Like maybe a PS2, so we can see what our contract with Square Enix got us on the Kingdom Hearts games. Or maybe a Wii. I heard they're supposed to be fun, what with being interactive and all."

Marluxia leaned against the couch arm. He waved his hand nonchalantly. "Uh, no Wii. Square Enix and Sony would probably flip if we bought a Nintendo product. They'd probably say that it's in violation of our contract or something."

Axel leaned back and sighed. "Well, it was a thought. I mean, we could still see about the PS2 or something."

"Just anything that doesn't involve us scrolling through fan works all day." Marluxia shivered. "I get so tired of all that yaoi. Can't a couple of above-averagely-good-looking guys be friends without any homosexual implications?"

"I hear ya," replied Axel. "I mean, sure, let the fangirls dream, but I don't think Roxas would even understand more than half of those fan fictions."

The door to the level opened. "Hi guys. I'm back."

Marluxia and Axel turned around and started to say in unison, "Hello, La-"

Marluxia stopped and gawked. His jaw dropped to the floor. He started babbling unintelligible gibberish.

Axel, on the other hand, was more casual. He stood up and walked over to the blond woman. "Well, get a load of this, Marluxia. A pair of breasts found their way into Castle Oblivion." He looked up. "Oh, hello, Larxene, when did you get back?"

Laxrene glared lightning bolts at the redhead. _Blast you, for your need to be coy and cool even when you're being a total pervert._

Marluxia had recovered at this time. He just opened his mouth to speak, when two flashes of dirty blond ran past.

Demyx and Roxas stopped in front of Larxene. "Hey, Larxene, where did you g- woah!"

Demyx pointed at Larxene. "What happened to you?" He started poking at one of Larxene's giant breasts.

Roxas started poking Larxene's breasts as well. "What are these things, Larxene."

Larxene had conjured up two fists full of her kunai knives, and her eyes her flashing violently. However, before she could destroy the two blond boys, Axel patted her on the head, diffusing her concentration.

"Now, now, Larxy. There's no need to get violent. I'll take care of this." The redhead cupped his right hand under Larxene's left breast and lifted it slightly. He turned to Demyx and Roxas. "You see, my young associates, these are what are known as breasts, or boobs, or any of many, though either fairly crass or slang, names. Now, the typical description is that they are simply a means for a mother to transmit a nutrient-rich secretion to their offspring. But that is simply not the truth. Their real purpose is much more sinister."

Larxene snapped. "What are you talk-"

"Tell us! Tell us! What are breasts for, Axel!" Demyx and Roxas shouted simultaneously.

Axel leaned forward until he was mere inches away from the two boys. "They're hypnosis devices. Women use them to get men to do whatever they want."

Demyx and Roxas turned to stare at Larxene in horror. "Really!?"

"No! N-"

Axel interrupted Larxene again. "Yes, that is exactly their purpose." He stood up and grinned evilly. "And the larger the breasts, the more powerful the hypnosis, so watch out. No telling what Larxene might make you do."

Roxas was terrified, and Demyx was shivering and on the verge of tears. They both hopped up and ran away. "WAAAAAH! THE BOOBS! BEWARE THE BOOBS!"

Larxene gave a sidelong glance at a snickering Axel. "You're horrible. You know that, right? You just virtually scarred those two for life."

"Aw, you would have said it, if I hadn't. They'll be back to their normal selves in no time." Axel cleaned his ear out with his little finger. "Of course, for them, this may be normal."

Marluxia raised his hand to speak, but was interrupted by someone arriving via warp hole.

"What in the name of Sam Hill is going on up here!" Vexen roared.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," said Axel.

Vexen glared over at the redhead. "Oh, sure you don't. What is with the ruckus I've been hear-" His eyes landed on Larxene. "Oh." He sighed and pulled out some sort of walkie talkie. "Lexaeus, I need you up here. We're going to have to reconstruct Larxne's private bathroom... again." A pause. "No, it's not because Axel was peeping on Larxene in the shower again." Another pause. "Yes, I'll come back down to grab the toolbox while you gather the supplies." He turned the walkie talkie off and warped away.

Larxene looked over at Axel. She held up a fistful of knives. "Any reason why you're still touching my breast?"

"I don't know. Cause it's there."

Marluxia, once again, was about to speak, when someone else decided to warp in. "Ah, forget it! I'll just go check on Namine."

Xigbar and Xaldin watched the pink-haired man walk off.

"Dude, what's his damage?" asked Xigbar, pointing after Marluxia..

Xaldin shrugged. He turned to Axel and Larxene, eyes shut. "The superior has realized that there has recently been some sort of hullabaloo." He opened his eyes. "Care to expl- Wh-wh-what th-th-th-th-the... Wh-what th-th-the... Oh my Kingdom Hearts!" Speechless, he fell backwards.

Xigbar kicked the unconscious Xaldin a couple times. "Dude, what's with the free fall?" He looked at Larxene and Axel. "Woah." Using his power over space, he teleported beside Axel. He leaned close to him. "So, when can we expect kids?"

Axel leaned close to Xigbar. "What do you mean?"

"Dude, weren't you planning on popping the question? Now's as good a time as any."

"That would seem to make sense." Axel clubbed Xigbar over the head with his fist. "But doesn't it seem a little shallow to propose immediately after Larxene got her breasts enlarged. I mean, it makes it look like I only care about the boobs."

"Yeah, you're young, dude. That sort of thing is totally acceptable." Xigbar grinned and gave Axel a thumbs up.

"Yeah, and you're old enough to be my dad, but act like your my college-age brother who hides magazines from dad."

Larxene leaned in closer. "You guys realize that I'm only five inches away, so I can hear everything you're saying, right?"

Axel smirked. "Of course. That's why I was talking like such a gentleman."

Larxene glared at Axel. "You are such a perve!"

"OOOOOOWWWW!" Axel flailed back, his cheek full of kunai knives. After he pulled them out, though, he started laughing. "Okay, I'm not gonna lie. I deserved that."

"You bet you did," snapped Larxene. "You haven't even let go this entire time."

Axel looked down at his hand, which was still cupping Larxene's breast. "Oh, are you saying that the other needs attention, too?" He let go and placed his hand on top of the other breast. He covered his nose and mouth, a little bit of red leaking over the top. "They just feel so real."

Larxene gave off a massive electrical discharge up Axel's arm. "Of course they're real! What, did you think I actually got implants?"

Axel stood up, after having fallen to the floor. "Well, one would think that would be the case. I mean, you don't just naturally grow to that size, especially overnight." He stared at Larxene for a full minute. He started laughing. "Oh no. You actually went to Dr. Gazfit's office."

"You were the one who gave me the stupid coupons to his clinic."

Axel flailed his arms. "I told you that was a joke! Don't you realize he preforms his operations with experimental technology. It hasn't even been approved by the surgeon general yet."

"What! Then why'd you give me the stupid coupons!"

"I told you! It was a joke!" Axel smiled as he poked Larxene's breast again. "But I can't complain about the results."

"Drop dead, Axel." Larxene electrocuted Axel again and stomped off to her room.

Xaldin woke up at about this time. "What just happened?"

Xigbar kneeled down next to Xaldin. "Oh, Larxene just decided to get the most insane breast enhancement with experimental technology that isn't even recorded to be safe."

Xaldin jumped up and grabbed Xigbar by the shoulders. "What!"

"I know. It's totally wicked, dude." Xigbar feigned a tear. "The little dudette's grown up so much."

Xaldin glared at the eye-patched teenager stuck in a forty-year-old's body. "I can't believe you just said that. I bet this was your doing. You raised Axel to be nothing but a punk."

"Dude, as if." A spear wedged itself in the wall next to Xigbar's head. He laughed and ran off. "Catch me if you can, old dude."

---

Marluxia stepped into Namine's room. "I swear, it's getting to be such a mad house around here."

Namine looked up from her sketchbook. "What's that matter, Marluxia?"

Marluxia sat down at the table. "Oh, Larxene decided to go and get her breasts augmented to a ridiculous size." He paused to see Namine staring at him. "Not that that's the problem. It's just that it's caused absolute chaos since she came back."

Namine's face turned pink. "So that's what she meant," she whispered to herself.

Marluxia looked up. "That's what she meant? What are you talki-" Marluxia looked intently at Namine. "Oh, is that what Larxene was talking to you about a couple weeks ago?"

Namine nodded shyly.

Marluxia reached over and patted Namine on the head. "Oh, there, there. Anything mean that Larxene said, you can tell me."

Namine looked up at the pink-haired man. She fiddled her fingers a couple times. "Well, it's just that she said an anime girl my age should at least be a D-cup." She laid a small hand on her chest.

"Well, just because Larxene said that doesn't mean you have to be influenced. It doesn't matter what size of bra you wear."

Namine looked shyly up into Marluxia's eyes. "I know." She twirled a lock of her hair. "It's just that... I want to get a breast augmentation, too."

Marluxia and Namine stared at each other, both their faces turning neon red.

Marluxia was the one to break the silence. "Well, I s-suppose that we could see about th-that. Just let me look at my schedule. So what, size was it you wanted? D-cup?"

Namine shied away. "What size is Larxene now?"

"Oh, I say a ridiculous size. N-cup or something."

Namine gestured for the man to come closer. After he leaned forward, she stood up and whispered something into his ear.

Marluxia's face reddened deeper. He lifted a hand to cover his nose. He leaned back and stood up. "Well, I suppose we'll see what happens."

Namine nodded, her face a bright tomato.

Marluxia walked towards the door. "I see you later." After the door closed behind him, he turned to talking to himself, looking at the blood in his hand. "Come on, Marluxia. You do not have those kinds of thoughts. You are a gentleman." He looked down at the red puddle forming on the white floor. "A gentleman who has a Lolita complex and is associated with a girl who is willing to become the sexiest thing her age."

Blood exploded out of the pink-haired man's nose.

"I should see about cleaning this up." Marluxia ran down the hall, keeping both hands over his nose.

I'm an evil, evil little boy. Apologies to anyone who felt offended by anything. I hope the story will be cuter after this. *Grins Evilly* But that doesn't mean the immature humor is over. Please review. All comments wanted.

P. S. Also, about a comment made in this chapter, I am not flaming yaoi writers. I am merely saying that maybe the feelings of characters should be considered before writing such material.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: AXEL!!!!!

Larxene woke up late in the morning. She was used to sleeping on her back, but she had grown quickly to her new need of sleeping on her front. Actually, she was surprised with how comfortable she felt with it now.

However, she still wasn't a morning person, even if she spent more than half of it in bed. She tromped over, half-asleep, to her closet. She reached in to fish out for a shirt for the day. It took her a while, but she had become pretty adept at dressing with her new figure.

It wasn't too long before Larxene was walking down the hall. As she walked, she saw Zexion coming from the other direction. "Good morning, number six."

Zexion looked up from the book he had been reading. In his monotonous voice, he started, "Morning, number twe-" He stopped.

Larxene noticed that he was staring at her chest. She stood there. "Yes, I know. It must seem ridiculous, but it's true."

Then Zexion did something Larxene never expected him to do. His mouth squirmed into a crooked smile. He shoved his hand over his mouth and started looking around. He raced into the nearest open door and slammed it behind himself.

Larxene quirked an eyebrow. She walked over and delicately placed her ear on the door. She wasn't sure she was hearing things clearly, so she pressed her ear harder on the door. "What the heck! Is he laughing? I didn't even know he could do that." She paused in thought. "Of course, I don't know why he would be laughing." She looked down at her chest. "Then again, I had no idea how he would react to an augmentation." She soon huffed. "Of course, if that's the case, then he's more immature about this than anyone."

A scream was soon heard from the other side of the door. "Take that, emo boy!" Larxene screamed as she continued to surge electricity under the door. Every couple minutes, she would stop, and if she heard the slightest giggle, she sent more lightning through the door, until it sounded as though nothing was left on the other side of the door. She grinned to herself. "That'll teach you." She walked off, whistling.

---

In the kitchen, Axel, Roxas, Demyx, Marluxia, and Vexen were sitting at the table. Demyx and Roxas were scarfing down cereal and toaster pastries, while the older men were discussing something much more serious.

Vexen pounded his fist on the table. "I'm telling you, it doesn't make any sense. According to my research, the Heartless are made from dark hearts and look like ambiguous creatures. We Nobodies, on the other hand, look like people but have no hearts."

Demyx looked up from his cereal bowl. "We don't have hearts!?"

Axel, Marluxia, and Vexen stared at Demyx.

"Well, that's what we were told by Square Enix," Axel said, idly stirring his coffee.

Vexen cleared his throat. "Yes, so, given these circumstances, why does Square Enix refer to us as Nobodies and them as Heartless, when statistical proof says it should be the other way around?"

Axel and Marluxia shrugged.

Marluxia was the only one who seemed to think of an answer. "Well, I suppose that if we were called Heartless, we'd end up seeming more like villains, therefore nullifying the pity that would be sown in some of our more dramatic scenes."

"But it's illogical!" snapped Vexen. "You can't fight logic with the fan's emotions!"

Axel and Marluxia stared blandly at the scientist.

"What?"

Axel slid himself onto the table. "Hey, old man, you arguing with what makes the munny here?"

Vexen sighed. "Good point."

At this time, Larxene entered the kitchen. "What's for breakfast?"

Demyx and Roxas looked up from the table. Their eyes growing wide, they ran out of the room.

"Apparently, whatever you want, without argument from the kids, even," said Axel.

As the three men watched Larxene, they began to snicker. When she finally got to the table, Vexen had frozen his mouth over to prevent extreme laughter, and Marluxia and Axel were stifling themselves the best they could.

Larxene eyed the three men. "Oh, come on, not you guys, too!" She slammed the milk onto the table. "I've already barbecued Zexion this morning."

Marluxia, still stifling himself, stood up. Between giggle spurts, he said, "Well... I've got to go. I... have a schedule... to take care of." He dashed out of the room, laughter bawling after he was out of sight.

Vexen unfroze his mouth just long enough to say, "Um... I have to work on... the thing... in the place... because it's that thing's time and all." He created a shadow portal and disappeared. His obnoxious laughter exploded from beneath the floor.

Larxene glared at Axel, the only one who was either brave enough, or stupid enough, to face her at any given moment. "What is going on, Axel?"

Axel grinned and chuckled lightly. "You don't look in the mirror often, do you?"

"What is this, some kind of stupid hair joke." Larxene grabbed the top of her head to see what was wrong.

Axel grinned as he made a portal in the floor. Sinking, he continued to smile like a Cheshire cat and said, "All I have to say is that is no T-shirt. That is a billboard."

After Axel was gone, Larxene looked down at her chest. She didn't see anything on it, but she had trouble seeing anything on her chest anyways.

So, after eating her fair share of breakfast, Larxene walked back to her room. She thought she heard Zexion laughing again, so she sent another lightning bolt his way. When she was back in her room, she walked towards her closet mirror. She stared at it. "Huh, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong." Then she saw the writing. "PERTY OF AX? That doesn't make any sense." She thought about it for a moment. She turned the mirror sideways and gasped.

In red ink on the black cloth, the words PROPERTY OF AXEL, underlined with GOT IT MEMORIZED?, had been labeled on the chest.

Larxene flushed. She dropped the mirror and pulled the shirt off. "I needed to take a bath anyways," she grumbled.

---

Larxene leaned back in the bathtub. Lexaeus and Vexen hadn't wasted any time, and Larxene couldn't complain with the results. However, it didn't seem as though they gave her a shower, but she didn't complain.

After closing her eyes and relaxing for a few minutes, Larxene felt something rub against one of her breasts. At first, she thought it was bubble bath, but then it became recognizable as hair. She opened her eyes.

Standing upside-down on the ceiling, Axel was smiling down at Larxene. "What do you think, Larxy? Xigbar showed me this cool way to teleport and suspend myself in air using fire."

Larxene leaned forward and covered as much of her breasts as possible. "And why did you teleport into my bathroom?" she growled, eyes shut in anger.

Axel cleaned his ear out. "I don't know. I really didn't think there were too many other places I'd teleport to." He looked down at Larxene. "But I can't complain about the view." He started reaching a hand down, but it stopped. He brought it back up and pulled the knife out of his head. "Okay, I deserved that."

"Shut up and die, flame boy!"

Axel smirked. "Okay, fine. I can see you're crabby. I'll just go and let you relax, then." He snapped his fingers, and a small fireball took his place.

Larxene shot several poorly aimed bolts of lightning at the laughing fireball as it retreated out of the bathroom.

After being sure that she was alone, she leaned back and sighed, sinking deep into the water.

---

After her shower, Larxene had gotten dressed except for her shirt. She walked to the closet and opened it. She pulled out the first shirt and looked at it. "Property of Axel." She pulled out another shirt. "Property of Axel." She kept yanking out shirts, but they all had the same obnoxious message. All of them, but the last, that is. Of course, the last was a black shirt with a plunging neckline that she didn't remember buying.

Larxene growled. "I'm only wearing this for the sake of decency until I can get some more clothes," she told herself as she put on the shirt. She looked at the other shirts. "I'll have to burn those or something."

---

Larxene walked down the hall towards the library. As she was walking, she saw Demyx cupping his ear to a nearby door. She walked over. "What are you doing?"

Demyx jumped. He turned around, saw it was Larxene, and seemed to freak out even more.

Larxene huffed. "I'm not going to do anything to you. Now, what are you doing?"

Demyx just kept staring at Larxene's chest and inched back.

_This isn't going anywhere._ Then, a streak of electricity went up her bangs, and they formed into a pair of devil horns. "Demyx, if you don't tell me what you were just doing, I'll be forced to stuff your head down between my breasts."

Demyx paled at the thought. "Oh, um, well, um, it was nothing really."

Larxene took a couple steps closer, trapping Demyx between her massive assets and the door. "I'm waiting, Demyx."

Demyx began to sweat. "Seriously, it's nothing. I just never realized that Axel was one to sing in the shower. And he has such a wonderful singing voice, too."

Larxene stepped back. "That's it?"

Demyx nodded, about to faint.

Larxene nodded and smiled viciously. "You may go, now."

Demyx took no time in leaving the area.

"So, Axel sings in the shower?" Larxene pressed her ear to the door. "Maybe now I can find a way to embarrass him." She pressed against the door as hard as she could without opening the door.

The sound started out muffled as Larxene's ear searched for it. Then, it started to become clearer. Just as Larxene was able to pick up the music, Axel sung the lyrics, "She's a brick hoooouse. She's got the body. Letting it all hang out."

Larxene's face turned apple red. "You perve!" She unleashed electrical discharge around the door and into the humid room. As Axel was screaming in pain, she fumed back to her own room.

---

Larxene sat in her room, watching an aimless game show on the television. She munched chips angrily as she plotted a very violent way to get revenge on a certain redheaded pyrotechnic.

She was so focused, that she almost didn't hear the knock at the door.

"What is it now?" she grumbled as she stood up. She stomped over to the door and threw it open. "No, Axel, I will not apologize for the event earlier! And, no, I am not up for anymore of your sick jokes today." After hearing no response, she blinked a couple times and blushed lightly. "Oh, sorry Xemnas."

Xemnas and Saix stood outside Larxene's door. "Actually," said Xemnas, "we heard that you've been causing quite a riot here in Castle Oblivion. We were wondering why, until now."

Larxene noticed that Saix was staring, unblinkingly, at her chest.

Xemans turned to his right-hand man. "Number seven, was it mentioned anywhere in the plans that number twelve would have her breasts augmented?"

Saix flipped though the papers on his clipboard. "It doesn't look like it." He held the clipboard to his side. "But I don't believe that we restricted it from her possible extracurricular activities."

Xemnas nodded. "I guess not." He turned to Larxene. "Very well, now that that's settled. I see no problem here." He turned to face down the hall. "Come, number seven. We must see to Kingdom Hearts."

"Yes, sir."

The two men walked down the hall. Xemnas turned to Saix. "You know, at least Marluxia was good enough to fill out a vacation form before leaving."

Larxene sighed as she returned to her room. "I wonder if we should tell Xemnas that that whole Kindom Hearts thing was just part of a game."

Meanwhile, down the hall, Lexaeus opened the broom closet. Zexion fell out, leaving a cloud of ash in the air.

Zexion stood up and walked away. "Must get back to nice, safe, dark emo corner. Must stop the laughing."

Lexaeus stared after Zexion for a minute. He turned back to the closet and sighed, grabbing a broom and dust pan to take care of the ash.

---

Marluxia's little Volkswagen Beetle pulled up in front of the clinic. The pink-haired man stood up. "Well, I believe this is the place Axel mentioned."

Namine stepped out of the other side of the car. The two of them walked in.

The receptionist looked up from her desk. She smiled. "May I help you?"

Marluxia blushed lightly. "Well, is it possible that we may attend an appointment right now?" He gestured to Namine. "My young friend has requested that I let her get her breasts augmented."

The receptionist turned to look at Namine. She looked back at Marluxia. "What about you, then?"

"I'm not a woman!" Marluxia roared, slamming his hands on the desk. After a moment of venting, he stood back up and smoothed down his hair. "I mean, can't you hear how deep and eloquent my voice is?"

The receptionist, eying Marluxia, looked back at Namine. "Isn't she a little young?"

Marluxia knelt down next to Namine. He got close to her ear and whispered. "Okay, remember what I told you to do?" After he felt Namien nod, he continued, "Do it."

Marluxia standing up, Namine walked over to the counter. She looked up at the receptionist with her big blue eyes, pouted slightly, and said, "Please, miss, it's for my birthday."

The receptionist stared at Namine's begging face. She looked up to avoid it, only to see Marluxia holding the ten thousand munny piece he had borrowed from Axel. She pressed her finger on the intercom button. "Doctor, we have another augmentation on our hands."

---

After going through a similar introduction as Larxene had been given, Marluxia and Namine found themselves sitting in the almost empty room.

"A nurse will be in shortly," Dr. Gazfit said before leaving.

Namine looked at Marluxia. "Is everything going to be okay?"

Marluxia turned to Namine, a blindfold wrapped around his head. He held out his hand. "Don't worry. Everything will be alright. I'll be right here, holding you hand."

Namine looked at Marluxia funnily. "Why are you wearing a blindfold?"

Marluxia pulled out a tissue and started tearing it apart to stuff up his nose. "Because I am a gentleman. I am not going to stare at your unclothed body during the operation."

Namine blushed lightly.

"Now, you should probably remove your dress, as the doctor ordered."

Namine nodded and proceeded.

Soon, a nurse walked in. "We are ready to preform the operation. Would you like to be anesthetized?"

"Will it hurt?" asked Namine.

The nurse looked at the girl. "Well, patients who stay awake often respond to the sensation of the operation."

The tissues in Marluxia's nose started to tinge red. "Anesthetize her!"

---

Marluxia and Dr. Gazfit walked out of the operation room.

Dr. Gazfit turned to face Marluxia. "I'm surprised with how quiet you were during the operation. You didn't even attempt to remove that blindfold."

Marluxia pulled his blindfold off. "Well, I would not disrespect Namine after any means. However, she herself didn't seem to think about the effects of this surgery."

"Well, that's easy even to take care of. We have physical therapy to take care of that. What I'm concerned about is the side effects."

Marluxia turned and stared at the doctor. "Side effects? What side effect?!"

Dr. Gazfit rubbed his chin. "Well, B.R.E.A.S.T. is freshly released from experimentation. Now, if Namine were an adult woman, I would have no qualms about preforming this operation." He turned to look Marluxia in the eyes. "But research shows that girls who are still in puberty tend to continue to develop at a rate relative to their new size."

Marluxia's nose plugs shot out of his nose and was followed by a waterfall of blood. He lifted a hand to his face.

Dr. Gazfit quirked an eyebrow. "Does that happen often?"

"Recently, increasingly so."

"We could see about hardening the tissue in your nose if that tends to be a problem."

"No, no. It's nothing serious."

"If you say so."

I'm terrible. That bathroom scene wasn't needed, but I'm not going to say I regret adding it. I'm just going to say that nothing showed, so get those pervy thoughts out of your head.

Also, I couldn't help but add the subplot with Marluxia and Namine. It was just too cute.

Another thing, if anyone was offended by Roxas and Demyx are acting like a pair of five-year-olds. That was the intent because I thought it was pretty funny. Sorry. Anyways, enjoy and review.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: All's fair in love and war

Larxene woke up, confident that she would be safe. Over the last couple weeks, she had learned every means of entry into her room and every one of Axel's abilties to cause some sort of crass catastrophe in her room, and enlisted Vexen, a man who had probably devoted his entire time as a Nobody to two things, science and hating Axel, to create a means by which to prevent any form of Axel's perversion from entering her room.

The Savage Nymph walked over to her bathroom. She opened it to reveal a barrier made of pure electricity, allowing only lightning elementals to pass through it. After she had taken take of her morning hygienic needs, she walked over to her closet, entering the code to deactivate the fire extinguisher-based trap. She smiled as she chose out her new, untampered clothes and put them on. She looked out her window, laced with liquid nitrogen, a natural flame deterrent, to look at the sunrise. She was no morning person, but she couldn't help but love victory.

Larxene walked out her door, which was booby-trapped with heat-seeking missiles set to activate if anything with a temperature greater than 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit tried to go through the door, and skipped merrily down to the library.

It was when Larxene passed the living room, that she noticed something strange. Demyx and Roxas were running around, wearing something on their backs that looked like children's costume capes. She stood there, musing. As Axel tortured her, she found a fondness for tormenting his young friends with her new endowments.

Larxene just had a really fun thought, when her face paled. "What are you two doing with my bras!"

Demyx and Roxas froze in their tracks. They turned to look at Larxene. "Run!" shouted Roxas. The two boys fled through the opposite door.

Larxene had originally been the fastest member in the organization, and even with her new bustline she hadn't slowed down much.

The chase went through several halls, until Larxene caught Demyx and Roxas in a dead-end hall. Demyx looked up at the blank wall and turned to Roxas. "You ever find it weird that we just happen to have dead ends? I mean, why have a dead end? It's useless."

"It's so I can do this!" Larxene shouted as she slammed against the two boys, trapping one boy per breast against the wall. She held up two handfuls of electrically-charged knives. "Now, what are you doing with my bras?"

Demyx and Roxas looked at each other. "Bras? What's a bra?"

"Exactly why I told you they were capes," said a voice. Axel grabbed onto Larxene's shoulder. "I'll take it from here, Larxy." He gently pushed Larxene back. He turned to Roxas and Demyx. "You see, when I told you that Larxene had capes in one of her drawers, I meant in case you had found the drawer, not for you to go looking for the drawer."

Larxene fumed. "I should have known." She aimed at Axel and threw all her current knives at him."

Axel, after absorbing 50,000 volts and being turned into a pin cushion, fell to the floor.

Larxene swiped her hands together to clear the dust. "Besides, it's my turn to have fun with their heads."

Remembering Larxene's usual threat, Demyx cowered slightly.

Larxene walked up to the two boys. "You see, those are not toy capes. Those are bras. Do you know what a bra is?"

Demyx and Roxas shook their heads.

Larxene leaned forward and bounced her breasts a couple times. "They keep my breasts supported and in check."

Demyx and Roxas pulled the bras off their backs and looked at them in fear.

"You see, if I don't wear a bra, well, you remember the hypnosis Axel talked about?"

Demyx and Roxas nodded.

Larxene's eyes glinted. "Well, I can't control it without wearing a bra. I mean, who knows what dreadful things could happen to you if you were to receive a full blast."

Demyx and Roxas paled, sweat dropping like bullets.

"And that's not the worst part. Because bras absorb so much energy, they make men more susceptible to hypnosis."

Axel stood up and grabbed the bras from his blond friends. "Ah, but some of us men think it's worth taking the risk just to receive one whiff of their glorious perfume." He smothered his face in the bras and inhaled deeply.

Roxas and Demyx stared at Axel in wonder and fear.

Axel let the bras drop from his face and looked to be in a stupor.

"Axel?" asked Roxas.

Axel was silent.

"AXEL?!" Roxas and Demyx yelled together.

Again, Axel was silent.

Larxene looked at Axel. It took her a minute, but she smirked. "Axel, destroy Roxas and Demyx for me, will you."

Axel lifted his hands, and his chakrams appeared. "Yes, mistress."

Demyx and Roxas looked at Axel. They laughed nervously as they watched him raise his weapon. "Now, Axel, it's us. Your friends."

"Must obey Larxene."

Demyx and Roxas ran around the other side of Larxene. "AAAAAAH! AXEL'S GOING TO KILL US! THE BOOBS! THE BOOBS ARE TAKING OVER!!!!"

After the two boys were gone, Axel stood in place a moment before exploding in laughter. "Holy cow. I don't think that could have gone any better even if I had planned that."

Larxene rubbed the tears from her eyes as she, too, laughed her guts out. "I know. It hurts, but I love it." She soon quieted herself and looked at Axel. "By the way, why did you trick those two into stealing my bras?"

"Oh, I'm hurt, Larxene." Axel grabbed where his heart would have been. "I mean, sure, Vexen is smart as a fox, but he's about as subtle as an ox with his security measures."

Larxene sighed. "You're getting too clever at this, you know that."

Axel laughed. "Ah, but you like it. I know so. Even if you don't want to say it."

Larxene was just about to say something, when the intercom blipped on. "Attention all Organization XIII members. This is the superior. We seem to be experiencing a Heartless attack, so will all who are able and available please report to the perimeter.... That is all."

Axel smirked and ran down the hall. "See ya later, Larxy."

"What do you mean." She ran up beside Axel.

Axel looked beside him and stopped. He grabbed Larxene's shoulder. "Woah, woah, woah! You can't go out there."

"What?!"

Axel took a couple steps down the hall. He pointed at Larxene with both hands. "You stay here. I don't want you in battle. You're carrying precious cargo now. Got it memorized?" He turned and ran. "Later."

Larxene stared after Axel for a moment. _Well, I admit that it's sweet that he doesn't want me to go into battle._ "But he's out of his mind if he thinks he'll get what he wants with such chauvinistic lines!" She created a warp portal and walked into it.

---

Larxene took the south side of the castle. She was surprised. The Heartless had never tried sieging the castle. They usually came in mobs of about fifty to a thousand. There had to have been more than fifty thousand, if she estimated correctly.

She shrugged. It didn't matter to her. "The more of you, the more pain for you, and the more pleasure for me."

"Larxene!"

Larxene flinched as she looked over to where the voice came from. She blew at her hair wistfully.

Xaldin walked up. "As third in command, I believe that it is irresponsible of you to attempt such a thing as fighting while in your current condition."

Larxene sighed and leaned her head to one side. "Well, I suppose you might be right." She flicked several knives, which sliced through several Shadows trying to attack Xaldin from behind. "But I prefer to see this condition as beneficent, not restricting."

Xaldin looked behind himself at the twitching Heartless carcasses as the faded into darkness. He turned back to Larxene. He coughed uncomfortably. He shifted his weight. "Very well. Um... I guess I'll take care of this side." He ran off, using his spears to start flying.

Larxene turned to the army of Heartless. "And I'll take this side." She ran towards the swarm, conjuring knives.

Tearing and shocking through the first several hundred, Larxene didn't have much trouble. She relished watching the many species falling under her knives and lightning, said bolts lighting up her face white.

Things were fun, until she was on her third thousand, Larxene was starting to feel tired. "The freaks just keep coming."

"Hey! Coming through!"

Larxene looked up to see Axel shaving through the Heartless by holding up his spinning chakrams while blazing through. He finished by flipping through the last wall and landed in front of Larxene. He looked down at Larxene sternly. "I thought I told you two to stay inside. What if your precious cargo gets damaged?"

Larxene stared up at Axel. _Two?_

Axel shook his head. "Never mind it now." He threw his chakrams on the ground and stepped on them. The weapons attached themselves to his feet. He turned around. "Get on."

Larxen huffed. "Look, if you think you can just act like the hero-"

"That wasn't a suggestion. It's about to get a lot hotter down here, so unless you want to be charcoal, I suggest you get on my back."

Larxene stood up. She always looked at Axel being the prankster of their group, but she knew that not everything he said was a joke.

"Hang on tight," said Axel.

Larxene looked at her position. "Wait a minute, are you just doing this so you can have your head in between my br-"

The chakrams ignited, and Axel sped forward. Walls of flame erupted around them as they mowed through the Heartless. The flames soon receded, but there were still heartless.

Axel licked his lips. "Just a little bit closer."

The Heartless wave swarmed forward.

"Closer."

The Heartless surrounded the two Nobodies.

"NOW!"

Flame erupted beneath the chakrams, and the two Nobodies went flying, leaving the Heartless to get fried like marshmallows dropped in a fire.

Larxene gripped tighter, not being used to flying, and a grin traced from one of Axel's ears to the other.

---

On the roof, Axel looked over the side of the building. "Looks like everything's cleared up down there. He walked down and sat next to Larxene. "So I guess that's that."

Larxene looked over at Axel and slapped him.

Axel turned to the woman and quirked an eyebrow. "I just saved your nonexistence. I don't think I deserved that one."

Larxene huffed and crossed her arms. "You gave that warning to my breasts!" _Meaning I was the 'precious cargo.'_ "That was kinky, and perverse, and immature, and... and..." She blushed lightly. "Very, though bizarrely, sweet." She leaned over and gave Axel the quickest peck on the cheek.

Axel ruffled his hair. "It's how I roll." He looked over at Larxene and blushed lightly. "Uh, you kinda have something right here." He pointed to his higher chest.

Larxene looked down at her chest. In the little bit of cleavage that showed, something was shining. She reached up, pulled it out, and looked at it. It was a ring. A diamond ring. "Axel, are you asking me to marry you?"

Axel cleaned his ear out with his little finger. "Well, sure, I guess. I mean, it's your choice."

Larxene placed a finder against her temple. "I suppose it would give you an excuse to be the pervert you are."

Axel shrugged. "And you could always retreat to your room if you get sick of it."

"Well, when you say it like that way." She leaned close to Axel's ear. "Yes."

Axel lost his seating for a split second. "What?"

Larxene shrugged, taking Axel's coolness. "I said yes."

"Ah," said Axel as he slid back next to Larxene. "Then I have one more question."

Larxene quirked an eyebrow. "And what would that be?"

"Well." Axel leaned close to Larxene's ear. "Did Dr. Gazfit mention how much it'd cost to upgrade to a Z-cup?"

Larxene's face turned neon red. She reeled back her fist and slammed Axel off the roof.

After about a minute, Axel, laughing, flew back up, using his fists as a makeshift jetpack. "Yeah. I totally deserved that one."

Larxene stood up. "You bet you did." She created a warp hole. "I don't want to talk to you until the wedding."

"Yeah. Hey, be sure you get a picture of the faces of the people you ask to design your dress." Axel watched as Larxene disappeared. "Well, guess I gotta go see to Roxas and Demyx." He floated down until he reached a window.

Xigbar and Xaldin floated in the air.

Xigbar laughed. "Dude, looks like the kids are finally getting hitched."

Xaldin nodded. "Patience leads to these things."

Xigbar looked at Xaldin. "You okay with Larxene, now."

"She is her own person. She decides what she wants."

Xigbar threw an arm around Xaldin's shoulders. "Dude, we're like totally going to be in-laws. Drinks are on me."

Xaldin pushed the second-in-command away. "I don't want to think about that. Too many people already mistake us for brothers."

Xigbar shrugged. "Whatever. Your beef, dude."

---

Demyx and Roxas sat in the living room, playing on the PS2.

"It was a good thing that Axel was able to talk Xemnas into getting this thing," said Roxas.

Demyx nodded. "Can't wait til we get Sitar Hero."

"I think you mean 'Guitar' Hero."

"Whatever."

The door opened. "We're back," called Marluxia.

Staring at the screen, Demyx and Roxas only muttered, "Hi."

Namine walked in, wearing her new H-cup bustline. She walked up behind the couch. "What are you guys doing?"

Roxas turned to answer. "We're playing on the new vi-vi-vi- BOOBS!"

Demyx turned around, his eyes growing wide as soon as he looked at the girl. He stood up, pointing. "BOOBS!"

The two boys ran out of the room. "THE BOOBS! THE BOOBS ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE ORGANIZATION!!!!"

Namine stared after the boys, tears forming at the edge of her eyes. "Did I do something wrong?"

Marluxia walked over and patted Namine on the head. "Don't worry. I'll explain later." He cupped his hand under her chin and brought her to look at his face. "It doesn't matter to me. You're still my little Namine."

Namine blushed and shied away. "Will it still be that way when I grow up?"

Marluxia lifted a hand up to his face, letting the blood pour down his sleeve. "You don't have to worry about that. I'll always be here for you."

Okay, I think one more chapter will do it. Now, for a couple notes.

First off, I'm sure a majority of people thought that Namine planned on getting larger breasts than Larxene. However, there are three reasons why I wouldn't and didn't do so.

One, It'd draw away from Larxene, who is the story's central character.

Two, Namine's a rather slight and fragile girl to have breasts that make up much more than fifty percent of her bodyweight.

Three, and most important, if Namine was determined to have larger breasts than Larxene, Larxene would probably take the challenge and have her breasts enlarged. Namine, wanting larger breasts than Larxene, would have her breasts enlarged. Frankly, it'd just be a run-on story until the girls' breasts were about as large as the Castle That Never Was. And that would be ridiculous, pointless, and tasteless.

Also, I apologize. I doubt that there are many perverts in real life that are as romantic as Axel is right here. But if you find one, you may come back and say I was wrong.

Stay tuned, and please review.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Boobies and babies

Larxene sat on the examination table. She balanced one of her knives in her nose. "So, Vex, what are the results?"

Vexen turned from his machines. "I would say you're pregnant." He tapped his upper lip with a pencil. "I'm a little bit concerned, though."

"Why? Whink I can't deal woth lazing about all day, having Axel wait on me hand and foot, for nine months? Or do you think I'm going to be stupid enough to fight and endanger the child."

"Um, no."

Larxene lazed back on the table. "If there's something wrong with the child, you better fix it. I can only imagine Axel would do to you if you don't."

Vexen paled slightly and fumbled with his clipboard. "Well, my concern revolves more around you."

Larxene sat up and stared at the Chilly Academic. "Me? What, like endangerment to life during the process of giving birth or something?"

"I'm not talking about a life and death situation!" Vexen panted heavily. He cleared his throat and stood up. "I'm just asking if you realize that women's breasts tend to grow proportionately during pregnancy, so they can support their child."

Larxene stared down at her chest. She sighed and leaned her head to one side. "I guess that's an added bit of good news to tell Axel."

-approximately 9 months later-

Axel paced back and forth down the hallway.

"Oh, for Kingdom Hearts' sake!" shouted Marluxia. "Will you calm down. I know more than anyone that Vexen is a complete nutcase, but he has brains somewhere in all that insanity."

Axel looked at the pink-haired man. "I know. Vexen can't be completely useless. It's just that this is the first time I can't do anything." He pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "I've already gone through twenty of these."

Marluxia stared at Axel. "You do realize that that's horrible for your health, right?"

"Not if they keep turning into ash before you breathe." Axel placed one of the cigarettes on his lips, and it instantly turned into white-gray powder. "See?"

The door opened.

Axel ran up. "Is it done?"

Vexen stared the redhead down. "No, I came out here to tell you to calm down. I can't work with all your negativity."

Axel grabbed the Chilly Academic's shoulders. "What!? Did something go wrong? Is everything all right?"

Vexen stared at Axel. "No. You, sir, need to... Oh, what is it the young people say... Chill out." He froze Axel in a block of ice. "Now that you've agreed to be quiet, I can get back to work."

---

After having defrosted himself, Axel had sat down and stayed quiet, except his chattering teeth. Namine and Marluxia sat beside him, trying to keep Axel calm.

After a little more than an hour, Vexen walked out. He pulled of the plastic gloves he had worn over his uniform gloves. "Well, I think that's it. If anyone is stupid enough to walk in there with a Larxene who has just endured one of the worst sufferings known to man (Namely, that stupid person would be Axel), they may go in to see the new moth-" Axel ran past at lightspeed. "-er."

Axel walked up to the bed. His questions were faster than Larxene's lightning. "Are you okay? Is the baby okay? Are you in pain? Can I get you anything?"

Larxene electrocuted Axel. After Axel stood back up, she asked, "Feeling better?"

Axel coughed. "Much." He looked down at Larxene's now Q-cup bustline. On her breasts laid a little redheaded baby. "Is that him?"

Larxene smiled. "That's our little boy."

Axel grinned. "Seems healthy enough." He patted one of Larxene's massive breasts. "And he better grow up strong and healthy, seeing how he has his own private milk factory." He paused in thought. "In fact, we could probably sale the excess for big munny."

A vein throbbed in Larxene's temple. She released enough energy to knockout the redhead. She smiled and ran a hand through her baby's red hair. "That would be your father." She leaned her head forward. "Let's hope looks are the only thing you inherited from him."

---

Namine and Marluxia watched from outside the door.

Marluxia flipped his hair. "Parents or not, those two will never grow up."

Namine's attention was held by the baby. "I wish I could have a child."

Marluxia turned to Namine. "Perhaps, when you're married."

"And when will we do that?"

Marluxia flinched. "Well, what about Roxas?"

Namine turned and looked up at Marluxia. "But it will take forever to wait for Roxas to grow up."

Marluxia nodded. "Well, the average marital age starts at about eighteen." He leaned against the wall. "Well, some people marry earlier. It's legal, but anyone under the age of eighteen requires their parents' or legal guardian's permission before getting married. So I guess you'll just have to wait."

"Oh." Namine leaned against the wall. After a couple moments, she turned to Marluxia. "Marluxia, aren't you my legal guardian?"

Marluxia's eyes grew wide, and he clamped a hand onto his nose. "Excuse me. I have to go to the restroom."

Namine nodded.

Marluxia dashed off. After entering the restroom, we ran over to the toilet and let the blood pour into the porcelain bowl. As he stood there, he muttered to himself. "How is it that such a sweet, innocent girl can so unknowingly be such a wicked temptress?"

Well, that's it for this story, but stay tuned for the credits. There's a sneak peek of a future fanfic. Review please!


	8. Credits

Larxene Wants Boobs

Credits

Cast shall be listed in order of appearance.

Namine as herself.

Larxene as herself.

Marluxia as himself.

Larxene walks in. "What!? The story can't be over! I just had a kid." She grabbed her massive breasts. "And I doubt anyone will every let me have such big breasts again."

Axel as Himself.

MasterofHearts1313 as Dr. Gazfit.

Queen of Hearts as the receptionist, nurse 1, nurse 2 (She's a intergalactic all-powerful being. She can do stuff like that).

Axel walked in. "Like chill out, Larxene. The guy who wrote this is going to write another story. It's like a trilogy or something."

Larxene's eyes glistened. "You mean like a sequel." She paused and frowned. "Well, I admit, I'm okay with my breasts being this big, but I think getting bigger would eventually get annoying."

Demyx as himself.

Roxas as himself.

Vexen as himself.

Axel lifted a piece of paper. "No, it doesn't seem to be a sequel. And actually, I think this story goes in the opposite direction, seeing how the title is Larxene Wants to be a Man."

"What!?"

"Yeah, I know. It's weird. It's weirder, seeing how there's still supposed to be plenty of breast jokes, immature humor, and nosebleeds."

"How is that supposed to work out?"

Xigbar as himself.

Xaldin as himself.

Zexion as himself.

Xemnas as himself.

Saix as himself.

Lexaeus as himself.

The Heartless as themselves.

After a moment of thought, Axel put the sheet of paper to the side, revealing thicker eyelashes, fuller lips, and a much more feminine figure. "You know, I honestly have no idea."

Larxene gawked at the she-Axel.

Xemnas walked in and took one look at Axel.

Axel noticed the funny looks. "What?"

Xemnas shook his head. "What are you two doing, anyways?"

"We were just talking about the next story we're gonna star in, directed by this author," replied Axel.

"By the way, who wrote this story?"

"Just watch the credits."

Written and directed by MasterofHearts1313.

Xemnas watched the name. "MasterofHearts1313! Help me with constructing Kingdom Hearts."

Axel looked at Larxene and gestured at Xemnas. "Someone is muy loco."

Larxene nodded.

Suddenly, a harlequin in a monochrome outfit walked in and slapped Xemnas. "You, sir, are an idiot." He marched off. "Oh, and that monochrome outfit you wore during that final fight with Sora and Riku was an insult to all monochrome outfits."

Xemnas laid on the ground, dazed.

Axel looked at Larxene. "So, I guess we'll just have to wait for the next story."

Larxene shrugged, and they walked off screen together. "By the way, when will the story come out?"

"I don't know. The date wasn't specified."

Disclaimers:

MasterofHearts1313 does not own Kingdom Hearts.

No Heartless were harmed in the making of this story.

Larxene and Namine will be reverted to their original bust sizes by the next story.

Marluxia walked in and looked at the disclaimers. _Must not complain about the last one. It would be ungentlemanly._

By the way, Marluxia will probably have the largest bustline in the next story.

"What! I'm not a woman!!!!!"

Not yet, anyways.

"Say what?!?!?"

I can't say anymore. I already said too much.


End file.
